Reflections on 2013

2013 is the first year since 2009 that I didn't experience a monumental, life-altering, bench-mark moment.

2010- Engaged to Matt
2011- Graduation from SCSL, Married to Matt
2012- Moved to NC, birth of Luke Alexander

3 crazy years.

Even so, I believe that 2013 has been the most defining year for me, personally.  I feel like this year was my first year of true adulthood.
2013 is the first year I lived life without a major life event excusing my faults.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's a natural thing that happens.
Get engaged?  Wedding plans, marriage counseling, registering all take priority.
Get married?  You're a newlywed.  A honeymooner.  You are excused from real life.
Get pregnant?  Forget about it.  You get a free pass to all chairs, parking spots, and food.  You are, after all, donating your body to the cultivation of life.  You're excused.
Get a baby?  You aren't excused from real life.  You are forced to surrender your life and come to terms with a whole new life.  People get that.
Deaths, births, new jobs..it's life and we all experience those seasons.  Which is why we are understanding when those around us are adjusting to these major life events.

Not having one of these moments to fall back on this year was hard.  Looking back, I see that I allowed those major events to define me for that season.  Which is why 2013 has been such a crazy big year for me.  Being honest with yourself about yourself is crucial in progressing into who Jesus has called you to be.  That is what 2013 has done for me.  I've had to tell myself the truth.  No more excuses for complaining, or bitterness, or unforgiveness, or watching too much TV, or manipulating Matt (yes, I went there.  Be honest with yourself, too.), or spending frivolously..I could go on for days.  My point?  It's not until I recognize my faults and determine to progress forward that I will walk in the fullness of what God has for me right now.

It's been a tough year.  It's been an awesome year.

Aside from all the deep, spiritual, personal stuff, 2013 had some incredible moments!  They weren't the marriage, baby-having type, but I will for sure remember them.

Here are my top 5:

5. Momentum Youth Church

Taking some of our students on a mission trip to our heartland, Ecaudor, was literally a dream come true for me.

Another dream come true: seeing our students sing, dance, preach, and use all other gifts to glorify King Jesus.  We showed up and showed out at the National Fine Arts Festival.

Hands down, my favorite Wednesday night of the year.  Pack the House.

My heart is filled with so much expectancy when I think about our Student Leadership team.  Aside from Jesus commanding us to make disciples and us having the idea of multiplication ingrained in us at SCSL, there is nothing more fulfilling than watching our brothers and sisters get it.

I'm sure every pastor's wife feels this way.  Watching my husband preach is one my favorite things.  He makes me so proud.  I married up.

4. Weight Watchers

Yes, totally ridiculous.  But this picture represents a huge milestone to me:  the day I was able to buy a pair of pants from the juniors section after over a year of not recognizing myself in the mirror.  Taking control of my weight was defining for me in that I was reclaiming myself after allowing pregnancy to define me (just being real).

3. Anniversary Trip to Mexico

Our trip to Mexico was a celebratory vacation.  We celebrated surviving 2 years of marriage in which we had a baby, moved states, entered into ministry, and built/bought a house.

We were able to reconnect without the distraction of social media, work, ministry, or our sweet non-sleeping Lukey.

Come what may, baby!

2. Our First House

After waiting over a month through lender drama and a government shutdown, we were pumped to close.

Homeowners!

1. Luke

Until we have another, I'm sure our babe will forever be responsible for the most memorable moments.  This first full year with him has been wonderful and exciting and magical.

 

First Birthday!

Happy New Year, everyone!

The best is yet to come.

Seasons

Seasons.  Times to laugh, cry, rest, work, dance, mourn, stay, go..  Learning to recognize and respond to the each season we encounter is crucial.  I've failed at this over and over again.  God has a way of patiently trying to teach me over and over again, too. :)
Recently, the idea of "seasons" has been a sacred echo in my life.  This first year of ministry and motherhood combined has been the most stretching year of my life.  I've never had so much opportunity to grow (and fail) and learn.  Having a baby turns your life upside down.  Full-time ministry turns your life upside down.  Moving to another state turns your life upside down.  It's been a ride.

It is so easy to only recognize the struggle of the season you're currently facing.  Maybe it is because stress, pain, fear, envy, loneliness, hurt, etc are sometimes more sharply felt than the strengths of a season.  But every season has both: struggle and strength.  Identify both and then call out the strengths.  Believe the strengths.

I pray this is a principle I learn to practice for the rest of my life.  Life-altering Truth.  This stuff promises to change the ins and outs of my every day life.

Yes, this is a busy season.  No, my life is not exactly as I pictured it five years ago.  Yes, I am a mother a lot earlier than I planned.  No, I don't have time to shower every day (just being real).  Yes, I miss my family and friends.  No, we don't get our weekly date nights anymore.

But, you know what?  I am a part of something bigger than myself.  That busy-ness means we are actively advancing His Kingdom and helping to facilitate life change.  That baby I get to raise is going to change the world (He's already changed mine).  That shower wasn't necessary anyway- dirty hair is easier to style. That family and those friends are the best part of holidays and homecomings.  That date night will be even sweeter when we DO have time to go.  We are healthy, loved, and called according to His purpose.  This is a strong season.


As we just finished the last youth service of the year and the last Wednesday night service EVER, I'm feeling nostalgic (can you tell?).  Let me go on a little bit about what else this season has brought:

My husband has expanded his heart over and over again, showing his love to me, our babe, and the greatest students in the world.  He preaches his guts out every week and brings his best home every night. He embraces change and growth... He teaches me every day about selflessness and humility.

Luke has added a dynamic to my life that I never anticipated.  He adds wonder to the mundane, ordinary moments of the day.  His smile has captured the hearts of more than one girl already.  I feel the weight of his incredible purpose and destiny.. believing so much in one little babe's future is a perspective that has helped me understand (just a little bit) how God must feel about me.

Church Alive has become our new home.  This is where we are cutting our teeth on ministry.  How lucky are we that we are in a safe place- where we can be honest, make mistakes, take risks, and go DEEP with our church family.  Our season at Church Alive will be a bench-mark season for us.. I know it.

As I navigate this fresh season of marriage, motherhood and ministry combined, I want to document the triumphs and the growing pains.

I haven't blogged in over a year for several reasons.  Mostly because I was too tired to think about punctuation and sentence structure.  Truthfully, the thought of summing up this enormous year into a blog post was too much to attempt.  If you want all that, check out my instagram.  It's updated hourly. (kidding..sort of).  So here it is: my reentry into the blog world.  I hope my perspective is an encouragement to anyone who reads it..